I take my hat off for young Fathers that are holding on to the Fatherhood hustle, getting their bit for the young ones and taking care of their young families. I have no Idea what it’s like to be a young parent, but I can imagine that it’s not easy, as many of us still need our parents for so many things.
See my biological Father was never there for over two decades of my life and I know what It is like growing up without one (well basically) and I feel like it is part of the reason why I found ways in strengthening and motivating myself, because I had to rely on myself for most part and I in return made choices I wish I never had and made mistakes I wish I could erase, but at the end of the day this Is life, we live, we experience and we conquer.
I remember when I was younger(maybe 8) and we would have a parent-teacher conference at school, I would make up stories when the other kids would ask me where my dad was.That would excuse him for not being there, like it was my responsibility as a child to defend him. I wish this upon no child, it is emotionally damaging and humiliating, because then you’d have to tell a lie and live the rest of your life trying to recall the original version of the lies so that you can add on and raise your baby lie to an adult lie to a point that you cannot kill it anymore. I remember feeling like, maybe he did not want me, considering that that he was young and all that jazz, so his life would have been a living hell.So as young as I was I kept telling myself “Maybe I shouldn’t have happened and that is why things are like this”. Those were my feelings throughout my whole childhood and well into my teen years…sad…miserable…unwanted…I wanted him to pay. As a young girl growing up in a fatherless situation, makes one almost “dependent” on the male partners you meet, because losing them will maximise the great loss you faced As a child and create the fear of experiencing those feelings again, so you just hold on to feelings and people that don’t serve any purpose in your life.
Like I said before this blog aims to motivate if not entertain and if one person gets to read it and change the way they see things, I would have succeeded. I know for a fact that there are many young people out there who find themselves in a similar situation and things might still be hard on you even today, but just know that there is nothing that doesn’t pass, every hardship has an expiry date and yours is no different.No child is born a mistake. When I met my dad I told him: “Your absence never made me less great, I never needed you or anyone else to ensure that I am a success story that was all me and it will continue being just me, if you stay fine even if you leave thats fine too, but you will not dictate my future”.
I urge young Fathers to stay by their children’s side, because your child needs you more than you can imagine and I wish strength upon young mothers to stay strong enough for their children too.
Experience raising a child together, the fears that come with it and also the joy. Be proud…just be proud that you were entrusted with someone’s life. Don’t leave your child.
Stay Real ♥