I moved to Cape Town this year to pursue my studies in computer science and when i got here i met a boy who i liked and we had sex a few times. He is a nice guy and he was respecting me very much so i started trusting him very much. We dated two months and in May i found out i might be pregnant with his child so i told him that i think i am pregnant because i have not been seeing my date and he said ok what will i do about it? i am very confused and he left to go home for holidays while i am stuck here wondering what to do because if i go home my mother will notice, she is old and good with these things and i don’t want to disappoint them at home. I am from a struggling family and i made a mistake. Soon i must go home to get documents for my loan and make my parents sign. I am so scared of going back why is he doing this what must i do now should i stay in Cape Town until the baby is born and make excuses before going home?
I know that I cannot force you into a decision, but I can however sway you into the right direction. I’m not sure how old you are but, judging from the fact that you recently finished school, I am guessing 17 – 20, which makes you quite young and vulnerable and more than anything you need your family in this debacle that you find yourself in. My advice to you would be to confide in a trusted family member. At first your parents will be disappointed but, they love you and they will not throw you to the wolves. School is also one of your greatest worries (I hope) and that is how you fear you will disappoint your parents. My suggestion is that you try to push along this year via academics and make sure you pass the year well enough to secure your loan when you return. Your only option now is to confide in your family and rely on their emotional support and then what you do after that is that you have your baby and take a break from school next year to gather yourself emotionally and to prepare for your return to school, while figuring out who will be taking care of the baby when you go back to school. Another point of advice is to talk to the father again and ask for his support as well but, if he is reluctant then visit your nearest magistrate’s office to discuss maintenance procedures. Yes the father of your child is probably still in school also but, there is a way of making his parents maintain the baby while he is still studying, it’s a procedure, but it’s possible. Lastly speak to someone who can calm you down emotionally, like maybe a student counselor or so, and try to pick yourself up. This is just a big rock in the way of your still beautiful path. You will make it. Do not beat yourself up over a mistake, we all have those and this is just another learning curve. There’s nothing wrong with you or future-baby and if his dad is already learning to be irresponsible already then you’re better off anyway, hopefully he grows out of this dabbing-attitudery and mans up.
Good luck love 🙂
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