Dear OTR I have in the past years been caught in the life of being young and a ladies man or so I believe. I met this girl in 2013 and we hit it off proper. She’s got the wife vibe going on and I liked that about her but my life as an entertainer exposed me to many beautiful women that I cannot just let past just like that. An ex of mine said that she is sick and I must test. I freaked tho cause last year I lost my mom as a result of a very serious illness and having to lose myself too is too much to swallow. I like my girl a lot I see her being the one and that, so when my weight started fluctuating I got concerned and immediately stopped the sexual part of our relationship but I started that again recently because some things felt heavier than normal and besides I cannot be HIV – positive because as far as I remember I use condoms with all the girls I get with and I sleep with clean girls to be honest. I don’t want to be the reason my girl gets sick but I have been scared to test, not scared, but you know that feeling of “what if it’s true”. To completely stop sex between us is not an option I am a man but to test is not an option either because if I am dying I choose to know on the day I die than 10 years prior where the stress and feels will definitely kill me before the aids does. Also imagine I tell her and we go test and I am negative but she leaves caused I did stupid things. Why kill a good thing for nothing? Please be honest and don’t look at it as someone to be judged or anything.
I have never found myself in a situation as complicated as yours but, I have definitely been scared to test before and I know how you feel but, what I also know is that before anything else the stress of not knowing will drive you even more crazy…like suicide crazy. You’ve had your own fair share of mistakes and had I been perfect I’d be sitting here telling you that you’re the devil himself but, I truly hope and pray that I can help you, but before that happens could you please help yourself also. First please get tested for HIV and get that out of the way and irregardless of your result just tell the lady you’re involved with and encourage her to get tested as well. You have to be honest with her because at the end of the day she needs to know what kind of man she is investing her loyalty in, she deserves that. Secondly, I’m truly sorry to hear about your mom but, if anything, that event in your life is supposed to teach you how valuable life is and that you should cherish your health. Your relationship is anything but a ‘good thing’ especially because she is not aware of these secrets that you’re keeping. I will put you in contact with a great HIV – counselor in your area and a psychologist because I do think your life problems stem from emotional occurrences or instabilities Please get tested, be honest with all your partners and just be a better man. Be a better man for yourself.
Stay Real ❤
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