I came to South Africa in 2011 and I was 22. I worked here for a man and his two children at Atteridgeville and I stayed with them in the house. The young one was three and the other one was five or six. The man told me his wife ran away with another man and he needed help that’s why I come. So I cooked and clean and we became close. We slept together and in October I was pregnant and I told him and he said I must go home and he will take care of me from there and send money. I agreed because he was coming to marry when he comes home. After I arrived in Lesotho I received money of three months and after that it stops. I called and I decided to come back to the house because he was not answering my call sometimes. When I come back I found a woman in the house and she says she is the wife and that is her house. I was shocked and I did not understand what is happening because the man said nothing and even the older child can talk and she did not say her mother is there. I said stayed in the house for more than five months and not once was she there. She said she went to London to work and she was also shocked that I came to look after the kids because her mom was supposed to look after them. I never told her my child is of her husband because I was scared to break the marriage. In 2013 she find out and she said I must come to South Africa for us all to talk like people. When I come back they took me to the family and they said I only got pregnant to try and steal the husband. Since my child was born I never got anything from him until even now. I gave birth at home and my child is there while I work here. They have moved on and I am scared to go to the police because he will say I am lying it is not his child. My child is living on my pay only in Lesotho and her father is rich. Even if I go to court they will want many papers and I don’t know what to do now.
What you’re going through is terrible. Some men’s morals are definitely not in the right place. You didn’t do anything wrong and under no circumstance must you feel like your child is a burden on your life because, this is a life-test that will pass. What I would advice you to do is to visit a magistrate’s court and explain your story to them. If it helps you can stop by the nearest police station and ask for advice there. That man knows that you’re scared and he can get away with this so that makes his life easier. At the end of the day, whether your child was born here or not, her father is here and that alone is enough. The court will most probably issue a DNA test if he is still in denial and after that everything will fall in to place. As the father of your child he has a responsibility towards her and he must support her. Go visit the magistrate’s office first thing tomorrow and explore your options. The sooner the better. Lastly make sure that your child grows up to be an emotional stable young woman, be there, support her as much as you can and make sure she never feels unwanted. Whether her dad is there or not, it’s a reflection of his character and not yours. It just gives you an image of the man he isn’t. You and her are better off without him.
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