I am an A-student, a supporting boyfriend, a sport ace, gym hulk and all round “ideal-man”, well according to my girl and some of my lady friends. To my friends I have the ideal life and they look up to me and also ask for my advice on topics involving girls, life and motivation. I would be happy with my life if it was not for the clear fact that I am gay and attracted to men. It’s not a new thing to me, I have always been attracted to men and I am not exploring. By exploring I mean just trying to have a guy for sexual pleasure. I have had relations with many guys before and I have a boyfriend who I love very much. He is my soul mate and I will definitely marry him in future. I am tired of living in fear and not introducing the person I love to my family. I want to come out but it would be an embarrassment to my family and myself. I know it sounds stupid considering the high acceptance rate of society today, but I can’t. I’m 24 now and I know my parents will view this as a disease they can cast out of me or something I picked up at varsity. I know this is tough and I should be asking someone who had to come-out to their family. Problem is I don’t know anyone who I trust enough to not air my business to the world. I am scared but at the same time I just want to get it out there. What has been halting my courage all these years is hearing how my father and brothers call gay men “izitabane” (a zulu word for the derogatory term f*gg*t) and the disgust in their eyes when they refer to people who are just like me. Is it worth giving away my “perfect” life for a life of insults, abandonment, rejection, judgement but also inner happiness? What do I do?
You need to put your happiness and well-being first. Sit your parents down TODAY and have this conversation with them: “Mom and Dad, this is who I am and who I have been for all my life. I understand and know that this is very painful to you and you feel the need to maybe mourn me as the son you know but, I am still the same person and I still love and respect you and I hope you can accept me as I am and support what truly makes me happy. I am not going anywhere but, what I am doing is letting go of that part of my life that hurts me and has always hurt me.” Your parents love you and no matter what the temporary result may be, they will continue loving and supporting you as their son. After you’ve told your parents, tell the rest of your family and friends. The real ones will stick around and support you and admire your strength and the fake ones will remove themselves. Please leave the woman you’re with right away but let her off gently and explain everything to her after you’ve told your parents. You’re going to hide and be miserable for the rest of your life if you don’t allow yourself to be true to your emotions and sexuality. Do you and be happy. This world rejects us all in one way or the other so, you might as well do things that make you happy in this cruel cruel maze of constant rejection. Take that step TODAY. Don’t wait for coming out day. Take the leap. P.S Someone already knows, there’s going to be that one person you are scared to tell that will embrace you with that infamous: “I knew it!!! I always knew” ( ❤
Stay Real ♥